Hello friends! Your neighborly bipolar hairstylist here! You will have to forgive me in reality if I seem a bit off.... I am dealing with side effects of my medications.
Christmas was nice. Zane made out like a bandit and of course you know Joe and I got this computer. There was not any holiday drama which was nice but half the holiday I was sort of like a zombie because of these side effects. It makes me feel so slow and like my tongue is too big for my mouth. My parents got a couple books to try to understand my illness, which is nice. The more educated you are about your loved ones illness, the more you understand why we do what we do. I try to fight it, but its hard when your brain is telling you that no one is good with you and you should just be alone. it is an isolating disease which is why I am glad I have my support group. I need to learn to lean on others because that is what friends are for, support and love.
for the longest time, I wore a mask. I actually had several at my fingers. There was the rebellious, free spirit who loved to piss her parents off and make out (among other things) with boys. There was the Christian mask for church and college, where I led prayers and read the bible like it was a cookbook for my life. I also had the PERFECT friend mask. If you needed me, I was there despite whomever I hurt to get there. This was the most important mask of all, because I felt if I didn't have a slew of best friends or someone at my side constantly.... I would be worth nothing. I would sacrifice everything to be friends. Last but not least, there was the perfect wife mask. Like we had everything under control.
Therapy and my medications help me with this but its still hard not to open that drawer and put a mask on. I really try to embrace what I am and who I am..... side effects and everything.
Whelp, gotta go meet my friend Michelle for coffee and errands. I love you guys! Thanks for reading.
x.o.
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