Chapter one

so, I just decided to start a blog. I figured it would be a good way to keep myself in check and let family and friends know how I was doing.

This about me is true:
I am bipolar. I was diagnosed a few months ago with bipolar 1. Basically it means I have manic episodes and depressive episodes. I am a rapid cycler so this happens several times in a month. my mania is triggered by alot of things in life.... anything from zane being too loud to something obscure like sleeping in ten minutes late. I am in a support group and I take medications. it helps about halfway through. the other half is up to my will to choose not to give in to certain tendencies to my mania. When I am manic, I definitely self destruct, wether its through spending too much money or thinking that people are talking about me and secretly hating me, to buzzing voices in my head and thinking irrational thoughts like everyone would be better off without me. This is very exhausting. I am usually the life of the party and sociable when I am manic and desperately want to be left alone when I am depressed.

The good thing is, with the new year, I will be radically changing my diet and exercise routine. I am attempting to quit smoking and absolutely no carbs or white sugar (this is with direction of my psychiatrist). Joe promised if I stopped smoking, he would get me a membership to the ymca. I am just waiting for the new year.

I am a hairstylist, and I think a damn fine one at that. I work at Velvet Monkey. This salon has been one of the few stable things in my life. My owner, Estrella, is probably the best boss I have ever had. She is one of my closer friends and has become someone I can rely on and have full disclosure when things are going awry in my life. I love her and my monkey family with all my heart. Hair is my therapy. It is my release. I love making someone feel 100% better about their life because I gave them a radical change or take them dark or light. I feel like sometimes the change of hair is a good analogy of my life... light to dark, long to short.... ridding myself of dead ends and trying desperately to be anew.

well, this is good for starters. I will be blogging every day so check back for updates.

x.o.